BOOM! Said the Dynamite!

Reasons Why Every Man Should Enjoy Women’s Softball

I’ve been watching alot of women’s softball lately.  No, not because I took a shit load of Estrogen pills last night (I was just curious).  And no, not because I own a lot of cats.  The one reason I’ve been watching so much women’s softball lately is because of this girl right here:

But when I was deconstructing why she was so hott, I realized that she was hott not because she’s attractive, but instead, she was attractive AND on ESPN(2). I hit it right on the nail. See, most of ESPN’s lineup consists of 40 episodes of Sportscenter ran throughout the day and an occasional baseball or basketball game ran every now and then. So the margin of opportunities to see a female on the channel is narrowed down to about 5 in every 50 shows, and its about .0001 if you consider hot chicks, or hott chicks like Jennie Finch. When there are women sports featured, they usually wallow in their own stereotypes in which they created.  Scoring is not a factor and most of the time neither is makeup or dignity.

But one fateful afternoon, I fell asleep watching an Eastern Confrence NBA game, and woke up right smack in the middle of a Women’s Softball game.  I whipped it out and beat off immediately.  And unlike any porno I’ve ever watched ever, I continued watching it afterwards.  I found it to be the most amazing TV experience of my life.  Better than the first episode I watched of The Sopranos.  Better than watching How It’s Made while your high.  I was hooked, immersed into a fun filled world of hot babes and fans that were either 4 or 80 years old.  It was the sexiest Wednesday afternoon of my life. And sure, while not ALL of them are lookers, the ones that are are so hot that they make up for those that are horses.  Just look at this picture of Team USA.  I tried my best to edit out the disgusting men that coached them, but I use Microsoft Paint.

So, men, I say we band together and dump the Sundays filled with football, chips, and depressed, bruised-in-odd-places wives (who needs em?). I say we’re done with testosterone filled playoff stretches when TVs are likely to be broken and girlfriend’s faces are likely to be broken as well.  Instead, look upon your female counterpart with respect. Turn the channel to ESPN4 and watch the WSA, which is an acronym for Women’s Softball Awesome.  They might already have an established acronym, but fuck them.  They’re women.